This is my sundown

[jack_f_twist]

It was black for a long time.

And it's still dark, and the air should be warm, smelling like canvas and sweat and horse and old leather, but instead he's cold, and huddles down, curling into himself to get warm again. Instead of wiry grass against his skin, there's only a firm softness, and he stretches one arm out to pull Lureen

(Ennis)

closer, but there's nothing there and all he grabs hold of is a sheet--not even a blanket or a pillow.

And he has one fuck-all of a headache.

It isn't until he rolls onto his back and blinks, trying to adjust his eyes in the darkness, that he realizes that the stifling air smells sweet, and warm. Like peaches. And

"Shit!" He sits up, abruptly, and immediately regrets it. Waves of nausea washe through him, his head pounding like he'd drank at least an entire bottle of bad whiskey the night before--

But.

But he hadn't been drinking. He'd been--hell, he'd been on the road, and the goddam truck had taken one final sharp rock to the paper-thin tires, and he'd stopped to fix it, and everything kinda got blurry from there. He remembers shapes, black against the bright afternoon sun, and something swinging at him--

clang
               (and it burns burns burns)

He touches the bridge of his nose gingerly, and for a long moment his breathing stops.
               (that ring of fire)





















Fuck.

Comments

[true_desire]

Desire's mouth makes a faint tch as Jack runs on about what life was and how he died -- but there's a raise of one eyebrow and a faintly wicked grin at the mention of 'dreams.'

"Dreams aren't my specialty, Jack... So you've thought of me, then."

He is teasing
It isn't really a question.

[jack_f_twist]

There's a grunt of laughter, and Jack shakes his head slowly.

"Not you."

[true_desire]

"Mm. It all depends on your point of view."
Desire grins, a flash of white. "That particular charm work on everyone, Jack Twist, or are you just trying to shoot holes in my ego?"

[jack_f_twist]

The grin sparks an answering smile, small but genuine, even though Jack directs it at the floor.

"Don't figure it couldn't take much damage," he admits, "but I meant--guess just not you, like you look now."

Wry now, "I ain't gotten rid a you yet. Figure you been along for the whole damn ride."

[true_desire]

There's a wry twist of those familiar lips.

"Hopefully, the company's good."

[jack_f_twist]

"Best there is," he says, and the smile grows a little wider again before turning on itself and fading away.

[true_desire]

If Desire notices the fade, he makes no comment: Matter of fact, he picks this moment to look away, fiddling in a suddenly present cellophane pack for a fresh cigarette.

"Here," he says, shaking the filtered end out of the paper. "Bet you could use one of these."

He lights up one-handed, not waiting to see whether Jack to take one or not: There's a pause where the flame remains dancing in the golden lighter, warm light flickering in those familiar eyes.

[jack_f_twist]

He nods his thanks, takes the offered cigarette and holds it to his lips, waiting for Desire to come through with a light, and the other man doesn't disappoint him. He takes a deep drag at the cigarette, bites the smoke back, and it tastes good, spicy and sweet all at once.

"Brokeback," he says, eventually, and exhales smoke in a thin stream. "To answer your question."

[true_desire]

"Tch."

Desire exhales, a swirling stream of spicy-sweet smoke: It curls into almost heart-shaped figures before vanishing into whatever place smoke goes, here in the dark. "I don't think you can have that anymore, Jack. Not unless you want to haunt the place. Rules, you see."

[jack_f_twist]

"Hell, I know that."

He holds the cigarette between thumb and forefinger, looks down at the glowing end thoughtfully.

And maybe, instead of seeing the smodering end of a cigarette, he's seeing a small campfire, bright against the purple-dark hunch of the mountains.

"Couldn't even get back up there when I had the chance. 'Sides, what I've wanted ain't hardly ever been the same as what I got. But feelin' like that, havin' that place..."

He trails off, and it's funny, but maybe if he were looking a little harder at Desire right now, he wouldn't be seeing the golden eyed gentleman at all.

"I'm supposed to go back, though," he says, more firmly. "When it's all over. I told Lureen."

[true_desire]

Desire might be a bit too quiet now, interested in drawing out the next drag a little longer than normal.
Could also all be in Jack's imagination. Wouldn't be the first time he'd seen something that wasn't there, after all.

"Right," Desire says in almost a sigh, huffing out the smoke. "Still doesn't tell me what you want now -- not that I'm meaning to rush you, Jack, but my Siblings aren't big on other Endless dicking around in their domain."

[jack_f_twist]

He doesn't answer right away, just lifts the cigarette to his lips and takes a pull at it, holds the smoke in and then lets it out slow.

"Why?" he asks, after a silence that probably hadn't stretched as long as it felt like. "You gonna make it come true for me? I don't want a leave, but I ain't got much keepin me here. Can't go back to the way it used a be, and that weren't even all that good."

And maybe Desire's brother ain't ever had too much of a hold on Jack, but there's a little bit of Despair in his voice anyhow, light as he tries to keep it.

[true_desire]

"Me? No. I never give people what they want, Jack -- Haven't you figured that out yet?" And if Desire's a bit snappish and curt now, eying the dark as if he expected some sort of bogey monster to spring out of it -- Well, that's all got to be imagination anyway, right?

"I just like you, and I want you to want ... Something more than this. More than nothing."

[jack_f_twist]

"I want a hell of a lot more than nothin'. Want my daddy to quit hatin' on me, want Bobby to grow up smart and strong, f'r Ennis to make up his fuckin mind--"

But he stops short there, and turns his head to look over his shoulder at Desire. His mouth quirks, slightly, at the other man's expression.

"What, somethin' comin to getcha?"

[true_desire]

"Death."

Desire's smile is mirthless.

"Possibly. It wouldn't be the first time I've meddled in my sister's affairs and deserved -- well. Trust me, Jack, you don't want to see her mad."

[jack_f_twist]

"Huh."

It's half-laughed. He turns back to his cigarette, bowing his head. Still, the wry half-smiling curve of his mouth can be seen dimly.

"Nice enough gal. Surely wouldn't want to be on her bad side, though."

A drag, and a cloud of smoke drifting with his words.

"Don't mean t'be gettin you in trouble with your family."

[true_desire]

"Of course Death's nice. She loves everybody, even me."

Breath.

"Tch. You think I need you to cause trouble with my Family, Jack? I can do that well enough on my own."

The wave is dismissive, leaving trailing curls of smoke behind as Desire's hand moves -- but the words are tight, rushed.

"Look. You've talked to her. More than once. What else has she told you about her erstwhile younger Sibling?"

[jack_f_twist]

He shrugs, leans his forearms along his thighs and looks at the wall of the room as if seeing something different--the curve of the moon rising, the curve of a bone-white smile.

"Not much. Said you was related, is all." A snort. "'S if I couldn'ta told that myself."

[true_desire]

Desire smirks a moment.
"Then she probably didn't fill you in on Regulus, did she."

[jack_f_twist]

A lift of the eyebrows, and Jack glances back at Desire, curious despite himself.

"Regulus, huh? Ain't I heard you mention him before?"

[true_desire]

"Mmhm. But there's something I didn't tell you." The smirk broadens into a wicked grin.

"Want details?"

[jack_f_twist]

"'m fairly sure I don't." And yet he's grinning, a little, and makes a motion with the hand holding the cigarette--now burned almost down to the filter--for the other fella to continue.

[true_desire]

"Sure you do. How often you get to hear about a couple guys livin' together, let alone sharing a place with a grown daughter?" Desire takes a moment to start another cigarette off the smoldering end of his own, chain-lighting it and passing it over to Jack.

"But there's something you need to know, Jack. Regulus and Meg... Well, they're both dead. Murdered well before what folks would call their time."

[jack_f_twist]

And where the whiskey flows in streams?

But Jack just takes the lighted cigarette silently, pinching out his old one, and takes a deep pull at it.

It tastes bizarrely like peaches.

"Shame," is all he says, but he's listening now, intent. It's in the way he hunches his shoulders, in how his eyes focus on just one spot ahead of him without really seeing it.

[true_desire]

"Point is, Regulus was nineteen, ended up in Milliways. He's made a new life for himself there, and not all of it because he met me."

Desire pinches his own cigarette out, playing with his lighter rather than starting a new cigarette. Shh-click, the heart snapping open and shut.

"Meg's been nearly able to pick up nearly where she left off. Her boyfriend waited for her, you see."

Shh-click.

"Now. Was there something you wanted?"

[jack_f_twist]

Still looking away, Jack purses his lips, and then takes a pull of smoke.

And one more.

His free hand comes up to rub at his nose, scrub over his jaw, still gingerly.

I don't want to say goodbye

"Yeah," he says, finally. "Reckon there is."

When he looks up, it's into hazel eyes and a shy sort of smile and for a second he almost sinks under the weight of his own anger and hurt, and then he nods, curtly.

"Reckon maybe there's a few things I oughta see to--one more place I wanta get to, 'fore I head anywhere else. 'f your sister don't mind."

It's a funny thing, Desire. Sometimes it makes you make all kinda crazy decisions, sometimes makes you go where you know you'd better not, sometimes makes you think things you know you shouldn't.

And sometimes it's fucking hard to quit.

[true_desire]

"Imagine you can ask her that yourself. If you want."

Desire's weight shifts on the bed, and then he's standing: If there's still something painfully familiar in the golden(hazel)eyes and the face around them, there's probably little familiar in the gesture as Desire reaches back for him, hand out to help him out of bed.
(can't quit you)
"Time's wasting, Jack. C'mon."
You've got your whole afterlife ahead of you.